Coming to Terms with Needing Mobility Aids

 

I still have a version of my life in my head.

The one where I could just leave. No planning at all. No pacing. I didn't have to think twice about whether my body would cooperate that day.

I haven't let go of that part of myself in a single moment. It's been a long, painful process. One that I'm still in.

The truth is that needing mobility aids isn't just about the things themselves. It's about what they stand for.

The moment it changed

There wasn't one big "this is it" moment.

It was little things:

Standing up takes longer

I stayed home because I knew I'd crash after going out. I realised that pain wasn't a flare anymore; it was constant.

At some point, "pushing through" no longer worked. That's when the idea of mobility aids went from being something you could choose to do to something you had to do.

It's hard to explain that change to people who haven't been through it. From the outside, it might look like "giving up."

But it isn't.

The emotional side no one talks about

It was hard to get my first aid, a cane.

It helped right away. Well after I started to use it. I ignored it for a few days till the pain was too bad and I thought I'd "give it a try". But it also made everything feel real.

When you used a cane in public, it meant:

People can see it
People think things
People treat you differently.

There is a strange sadness that goes along with it. Not just for what you've lost, but also for how people see you now. People I don't know sometimes say things like "too young for that" or "she's just after attention."

I had to stop thinking that needing help made me "worse".

It really meant that I was getting used to it.

My daily supports currently

Slowly but surely my life is filling up with what might seem like “little things", but together, they’ve given me parts of my independence back.

• My cane – for stability, confidence, and being able to go out without constantly worrying about falling
• Swivel car seat – something I didn’t realise I needed until getting in and out of the car became painful
• Shower chair + shower handle – turning something as simple as washing into something safe again
• Toilet support handle – dignity and independence in a way that’s hard to explain unless you’ve needed it
• Car door U holder – one of those small aids that makes a huge difference
• Shower scrubber extender – because reaching shouldn’t feel like an extreme sport
• Elevation pillow for bed – helping reduce pain and make rest actually restorative
• Tablet and book holder attachment – so I can still enjoy things without straining my body

Change the mindset

I understand if you're at that point where you're thinking about getting help but feel unsure, guilty, or even ashamed.

I really do but...

You don't have to wait until you're about to break. You can now make your life easier. You can now help your body. You can choose comfort, safety, and accessibility without having to show anyone that you did.

I'm still getting used to it. Still figuring things out. Still sad about parts of my old life. But I'm also making something new.

Thank you for reading,
Fae

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